When Life Gets Hard: How Grandparents Can Be a Steady Source of Support

Children do not always have the words to explain when life feels uncertain.

Divorce, grief, an absent parent, substance use, incarceration, financial hardship, housing instability, bullying, family conflict or challenges at school can all affect a child’s sense of security. And sometimes, Grandma or Grandpa suddenly finds themselves taking on a much larger caregiving role than they ever expected.

During difficult seasons, one thing can make a meaningful difference in a child’s life: having a caring adult who continues to show up.

Dr. Whitney Raglin Bignall of The Kids Mental Health Foundation has emphasized the importance of strong support systems for children experiencing hardship, noting that a consistent, loving and available grandmother can serve as an important source of stability.

For grandparents, that does not mean you are expected to fix everything.

Your presence, consistency and care may already be doing more than you realize.

Create consistency when life feels unpredictable

When other parts of a child’s world feel uncertain, simple routines can create security.

A familiar dinner routine. Knowing who will pick them up from school. A regular bedtime. A Saturday morning tradition. Clear expectations that remain consistent from one day to the next.

You do not need a perfectly organized household. The goal is simply to create dependable moments that tell a child, “You are safe here. You know what happens next.”

Make room for conversation

Children respond to hardship differently. Some want to talk. Others may become quiet, angry, anxious, distracted or withdrawn.

Try to create an environment where your grandchild knows they can come to you without immediately being judged or pressured.

Sometimes, saying “You can always talk to me” or “I may not have every answer, but I’m here to listen” can mean more than trying to solve the problem for them.

Let them see healthy ways of handling stress

Grandparents experience stress too.

You may be managing your own health, finances, household responsibilities and family concerns while also caring for a grandchild.

You do not have to pretend those challenges do not exist. When appropriate, children can benefit from seeing healthy ways of coping—taking a break, praying, talking to someone you trust, going for a walk or simply acknowledging that a day has been difficult.

You are showing them that difficult feelings can be handled one step at a time.

Remind them who they are and where they come from

Encouragement matters.

Notice their effort. Celebrate progress. Remind them of their strengths.

Family stories, recipes, photographs, music, traditions, faith and celebrations can also help children feel connected to something larger than the difficult circumstances happening around them.

Those connections can strengthen a child’s sense of identity, family and belonging.

You do not have to do everything alone

A grandparent does not have to be a child’s only source of support.

Trusted teachers, coaches, school counselors, relatives, mentors, faith leaders, pediatricians and other caring adults can become part of a child’s support system.

And if your grandchild needs additional help, start with what is realistic for your family. Support does not always have to begin with expensive private therapy. A school counselor, pediatrician, community program or trusted organization may be a helpful first step.

Finances, transportation, your own health and other responsibilities are real considerations. Seeking support should not become another impossible burden.

Grandparents need support, too

If your grandchild is going through a difficult season, chances are you may be going through it too.

You may be grieving changes in your family, worrying about money, navigating health concerns or adjusting to responsibilities you never expected to have at this stage of your life.

Caring deeply for your grandchild does not mean your own needs disappear.

Allow yourself to receive support, ask for help and connect with other people who understand what you are carrying.

Your presence matters

You may not be able to change every circumstance your grandchild faces.

But you can listen.

You can encourage them.

You can create moments of stability.

You can remind them that they belong.

And sometimes, simply knowing that Grandma or Grandpa continues to show up can become one of the strongest sources of reassurance a child has.

If you are a grandparent in the Harrisburg area raising or helping care for grandchildren, GIFTS Inc. invites you to join one of our Grandparent Support Group sessions held in partnership with local school districts.

These gatherings provide an opportunity to connect with other grandparents, share experiences, learn about available resources and find support within your community.

Upcoming dates, locations and times can be found on the GIFTS Inc. website under the Programs tab and will also be shared across our social media channels. We would love to have you join us.